Saturday, February 1, 2014

Response to Don't Date a Girl Who Travels


This morning, I saw an article on the Huffington Post website titled Don't Date a Girl Who Travels. Thinking it would be something funny, I decided to read it. I was sorely disappointed. Not only is the author - a woman, no less - completely genuine in her claims, she's also terribly close-minded. I know lots of women who travel in their free time, myself included, and these claims don't seem to apply to any of us. I can't help but think the author is trying to make herself sound like an elusive butterfly that we can all but dream to catch. Maybe all of that sun has gone to her head and made her delusional. 
Let's break it down, shall we?

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She's the one with the messy, unkempt hair colored by the sun. Her skin is now far from fair like it once was. Not even sun kissed. It's burnt with multiple tan lines, wounds and bites here and there. But for every flaw on her skin, she has an interesting story to tell.
Please. I get that you're going for a bohemian vibe here, but my dark brown hair and pale Irish skin beg to differ.
Don't date a girl who travels. She is hard to please. The usual dinner-movie date at the mall will suck the life out of her. Her soul craves for new experiences and adventures. She will be unimpressed with your new car and your expensive watch. She would rather climb a rock or jump out of an airplane than hear you brag about it.
You know who is hard to please? ALL women. Everyone gets tired of the dinner-movie date, but that doesn't mean we all want to jump out of airplanes. Did you read about the teenage girl whose parachute failed to open? 
Don't date a girl who travels because she will bug you to book a flight every time there's an airline seat sale. She won't party at Republiq. And she will never pay over $100 for Avicii because she knows that one weekend of clubbing is equivalent to one week somewhere far more exciting.
First of all, where are these clubs? I've never spent enough in a weekend that would pay for a weeklong vacation. Secondly, why would she bug you to book a flight? Wouldn't said woman book her own flight and tell the guy she's dating to figure it out himself? OH wait. She bugs him because she has no money, right? Ah yes, here comes your next point. 
Chances are, she can't hold a steady job. Or she's probably daydreaming about quitting. She doesn't want to keep working her ass off for someone else's dream. She has her own and is working towards it. She is a freelancer. She makes money from designing, writing, photography or something that requires creativity and imagination. Don't waste her time complaining about your boring job.
I wonder how many women are offended by this statement. I bet it's almost all of them. You know what pays for vacations? JOBS. And not some flimsy excuse for a job like selling snow cones on the beach. Legit jobs that require you to punch a time card. And what about all of those women who aren't freelancers, photographers or "creative"? They don't like to travel? Of course not. Why would they? Clearly, they're boring and more than content at the mall movie theater, right? 
Don't date a girl who travels. She might have wasted her college degree and switched careers entirely. She is now a dive instructor or a yoga teacher. She's not sure when the next paycheck is coming. But she doesn't work like a robot all day, she goes out and takes what life has to offer and challenges you to do the same.
Congrats for throwing the word "might" into this statement. Good for you. But let's get real here. It doesn't take a lack of paycheck to see what life has to offer. In fact, I'd argue you need a paycheck to experience most things - or did you pay for your plane jump another way? 
Don't date a girl who travels for she has chosen a life of uncertainty. She doesn't have a plan or a permanent address. She goes with the flow and follows her heart. She dances to the beat of her own drum. She doesn't wear a watch. Her days are ruled by the sun and the moon. When the waves are calling, life stops and she will be oblivious to everything else for a moment. But she has learned that the most important thing in life isn't surfing.
Alright, seriously? I know we're going for the free spirit vibe, but no permanent address? Our traveler is homeless now? Is she a couch surfer? Is she living on the land in a tent and bathing in the river? The more I read, the more I want to shake this woman.

Don't date a girl who travels as she tends to speak her mind.
 She will never try to impress your parents or friends. She knows respect, but isn't afraid to hold a debate about global issues or social responsibility.
Yeah, OK. Let's go board a cruise ship and see how many of them can talk about global issues or social responsibility. Oh, wait. You're not talking about that kind of traveler are you? You mean the ones that go on safaris and trek through the rain forest? Maybe you should be more specific. Also, show me a person (man or woman) that doesn't try to impress their significant other's friends and family and I will show you a person who doesn't give a damn about you. In that case, the author is right. Don't date him/her and definitely don't leave your wallet sitting out. 
She will never need you. She knows how to pitch a tent and screw her own fins without your help. She cooks well and doesn't need you to pay for her meals. She is too independent and wont care whether you travel with her or not. She will forget to check in with you when she arrives at her destination. She's busy living in the present. She talks to strangers. She will meet many interesting, like-minded people from around the world who share her passion and dreams. She will be bored with you.
This last one makes me roll my eyes. It also makes me wonder if the author has a bruised heart and is trying to convince herself she's strong and independent. Anyone in a mature relationship will tell you it isn't about needing someone to cook your meals, it's about having someone to share them with. And as much as I love to travel, it always feels good to go home, curl up in your own bed and spend time with your significant other. Just because you like to travel, doesn't mean you're bored with your home life.
So never date a girl who travels unless you can keep up with her. And if you unintentionally fall in love with one, don't you dare keep her. Let her go.
Obviously, I have missed one key point. The author refers to herself as a girl. This is probably more telling than anything else. This woman girl is an idiot. Her generalizations are insulting. I can't believe I wasted my time reading this garbage or writing this post. How much do you want to bet that when she finds someone she writes a new post about how traveling with a partner is more amazing than traveling alone?
*gag*
Cheers,
Jen

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