Tuesday, March 4, 2014

11 Types of Army Wives - Where do you fit in??

In the interest of full-disclosure, I stole this post from Army Wife 101 - you can find the original post here. I decided to share because I think she has a point. Keep in mind, it's all in good fun. Have you met people who fall into these categories? I definitely have. And I'm sure I fall in there somewhere, too.
Here we go! 
The I Am Hooah Hear Me Roar Wife
This is the wife whose life revolves around any and all things military. She was probably a military brat, swears she knows everything about military life, cooks and bakes for all the military functions (even the ones she’s not invited to) and wears “I’m an insert branch here” Wife t-shirts. She goes to every single FRG meeting and genuinely has a passion for military life and is most likely not mean, but just a tad bit annoying and competitive.

Hi What’s Your Husband’s Rank Before I Ask Your Name Wife
This is the wife that is obsessed with her husband’s rank and yours, too. Matter of fact she is so obsessed with it that you probably won’t have to worry about being friends with her unless your spouse is her husband’s rank or above.  She may or may not be involved in the FRG but if she is it’s usually for the position of authority more than actually wanting to be of help. She is usually a one-upper (Ugh, I hate one-uppers - Jen).
It’s All About My Kids Wife
This is the wife whose most likely a stay-at-home mom and her everyday life and world revolves around her kids. She attends every school function, volunteers at the base school, and her kids are probably in every activity on post. This person usually has 2+ kids. She usually knows everything and is the go-to person if you want to get involved in an activity on the base.
The Must Prove I Had A Life Before The Military Took It Wife
This wife is usually very educated or was probably in the military before and is having a hard time adjusting to the fact that they may have been forced or chose to give up their career. Their primary way of coping with it is to make sure that in almost every conversation they give you their full resume and educational history.
The Neighborhood Patrol Wife
This is the wife who can tell you everything that is happening or has happened in the neighborhood. You almost want to be their friend because who doesn’t want to know if something unsafe is happening where you live? But then you realize they are the type that knows too much. They usually sit outside at various times throughout the day and take it upon themselves to report everything to housing or the MPs they don’t agree with. Don’t let hubby’s friend come to fix your car during a deployment because most likely you will be having an affair after this neighbor sees you! Avoid telling this type of wife anything going on in your life.
The Hermit Wife
This is the wife who you know exists, but you never see because they rarely leave the house. When they do it’s only to go grocery shopping and pick the kids up from school. They will exchange pleasantries, but they rarely have friends and don’t choose to be bothered with socializing.
The Complainer
This is the wife who always has something wrong. She is usually a hypochondriac or is going to turn her kids into one. They usually call their husband’s command because their husband is not coming home at 5pm on the dot and they demand to know why they have to work so late. The military never does right by her and makes her life hell. Any and everything that can go wrong for someone usually happens to her and if you come in contact with her prepare your ear plugs because she is going to give you the run down.
The I Got My Own Life Wife
This is the wife that either works, goes to school or has her own business and really doesn’t have time for small talk about things happening on base. She will accompany her husband to his ball and cares about his career, but she draws a line because she has her own thing going on. She is usually a cool chickie, but is hard to be friends with because she is busy with her career and hardly has time for socializing.
The Balanced & Can Be Friends With Anyone Wife
This is the wife that is just cool, calm, collected and not falling apart and life is what it is to her. She is one of the best types of military wives to be friends with because she has no airs about her, is non-judgmental and could care less what your husband’s rank is. She will respect you as long as you respect her but has no issues checking a b-tch so don’t cross her.
The Veteran Wife
This is the wife whose spouse has been in 15+ years or more, has seen it all and been there done that. She normally hangs with people only her age or older and like the Balanced Wife will check you pretty easily. She looks forward to her husband’s retirement and settling down in one spot. They are usually part of the FRG and is usually one of he coolest ones in the FRG and tends to come off as a mother figure.

The only type I think she failed to mention is…

The Gossip Wife
She knows everything about everyone and isn’t afraid to spread rumors based on facts or pure speculation. It’s tempting to be friends with said wife because then you know the dirt too, but beware, if she’s willing to talk badly about others to you, she’s definitely willing to talk badly about you to others. She can’t help herself. There is no loyalty – just gossip.

What do you think? Do you fall into any of these categories? Does it apply to other jobs, too? Are we missing a type?


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