Sunday, May 11, 2014

Mother's Day Ramblings (coherent thoughts are overrated, right?)

While some would argue that Mother's Day is an opportunity for businesses to cash in on our emotions, I like to think otherwise (does this mean they got to me?). Or rather, I should say that even if that's the case, I don't care. With the chaos of everyday living, it's important that we pause one day out of the year to show our moms some gratitude. And no, I'm not just saying that because I am a mom (or because I saw that viral video from about it being the toughest job on the planet).

Although I'd be lying if I said my perspective hadn't changed in the past year.

I'm not going to say that "you never understand what it's like to be a mom until you are a mom" because some people might find that offensive. Two years ago, I would've argued that I appreciated my mom just as much as anyone with kids. How dare someone suggest otherwise, right? But once you become a mom yourself, it does make a difference. 

Last year, I was only about three weeks into motherhood when Mother's Day rolled around. And while it was special, I still had no idea what I'd really gotten myself into. I was so sleep deprived you could've told me the Easter bunny was making dinner and I would've said great, make me a plate. A year later, I have a better understanding of what it takes to be a mom and in turn, appreciate mine that much more. 

Because just like I have struggles with E, she had them with me. I look back at myself walking in circles trying to calm a crying baby and know that she experienced it firsthand. I remember the initial frustration I felt with breastfeeding and know I wasn't alone. I think of all the times I held E sleeping in my arms, counting my blessings and know she looked at me the same way. I appreciate how much she did for me - the long nights, the diaper changes, the feedings, helping me learn to walk and talk and sing songs. I know now that it wasn't always easy and she did it anyway and loved me in a way that I didn't fully understand. We share unconditional love between us, but a child's love for a parent is different than a parent's love for a child. I get it now. 

Thirty years after being born, I'm able to relate to my mom in an entirely new way. Going through childbirth and the ups and downs of raising a child - those are experiences that we'll share forever. 

I could ramble on and on and I'm not sure I'd make any more sense than I'm making now (am I making sense? I've read this several times through, but I'm still not sure. Putting how much you love your mom into words is tough). All I know is that I love my mom. I appreciate my mom. And I will forever be grateful that she showed me the way during my first year of motherhood. 

She may be a Mimi now, but she will always be Mom to me.

I love you, mom!


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