Thursday, September 4, 2014

Dirty Diapers & Car Damage = Rough Week

Well, the first part of this post is kind of gross, but if you can make it to the end there's a nice payoff. So there's your incentive (or you know, you can scroll down). Anyway, the past few days have been rough around our household. Mainly because E is battling a bout of teething diarrhea.

The first day, we changed 11-12 dirty diapers. The poor kid couldn't keep anything in his system. What went in, immediately came out. He also repeatedly stated (and by stated I mean pushed his cup over) that he does NOT like pedialyte. He's also now traumatized about having his diaper changed because his bottom was so sensitive. Needless to say, it took TWO people to change a dirty diaper at that point.

The second day, there were only a handful of dirty diapers - yay! And since Nana is in town, we wanted to go do something fun, but not too fun (no diarrhea water fountains at the splash pad for us! PS - you're welcome). So we drove to the Topsey Safari Ranch on the other side of Copperas Cove. E wasn't as into as the last time, but I think it's because he was still recovering from the day before. He did throw feed out to the animals and he liked sitting in the driver's seat. We were literally going 2 mph. Please don't yell at me. This time, we also got to feed the zebras, which was pretty awesome. And of course, the camel stuck his head in through our sunroof. Oh and a baby elk tried to make his way into the backseat with Nana - ha! I digress. The second day wasn't so bad. Things were looking up.

And then we got to the third day and the flood started at about 2 a.m. (nothing good happens after 2 a.m. - HIMYM). E was rolling around trying to get comfortable and I put my hand on his back. Big mistake. Because when I removed said hand it was covered in liquid poop. Not a good sign. I woke Nate up, turned on the lights and thanked our good fortune that we invested in a mattress cover. Because there was E, covered in poop in the middle of our bed, which was also now covered in diarrhea. The sheets, the blanket, his arms, his legs, my pajamas (the frack) - everything fell victim to his blowout diaper. So we go upstairs and clean up E and I throw all of the bedding into the washing machine and put new sheets on the bed. Good to go, right? Fast forward about four hours and E gets off the bed and starts walking around the room because he can't sleep. Ten minutes later his butt erupts (just like a volcano) and you know it's going to be bad. Nate and I briefly argue about whose turn it is to change him, but in the end, it required two people. We get upstairs and it's all over his pajamas and his back (how does poop go UP his back when he's already standing up?). It's on Nate's clothes because he carried E up the stairs. The smell is...not pleasant. And overwhelming. Nate decides to get in the shower with E and in turn, the house is filled with screams because he doesn't want to be in the shower (E, not Nate - figured I should clarify since it could go both ways). It is approximately 6:15 a.m. Then I started another load of laundry. And used bleach. Lots and lots of bleach.

It probably goes without saying that we are exhausted. And Poor E. He's the real victim here. 

And for those of you who stuck around for the whole story, here's the payoff. While we were at the ranch, my car was attacked by a pony. Yes, a pony. I was taking its photo and it got impatient with me so it KICKED my car with its hoof. It's times like these I wish I could swear like I used to...

Nate attached a GoPro camera to the car so we even have video of the little sh...pony doing the damage. Too bad the ranch isn't liable. Ugh. And don't worry, it wasn't harmed when I flung food at its face. Don't send me hate mail.

And here's a double bonus. The first time we went to the ranch, an ostrich snatched the feed bag right out of my lap. The back story is that I fed this giant ostrich and I thought it was gone. Then it snuck up on me. Mean little bugger. Here's the video: 

Anyone else having a rough week? 


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